I finally finished my second album. A big two year chunk of my young life. I wrote this little passage about it when I was really bummed out. Without further ado:
When I first realized that I was in love with you I was surrounded by a North End Italian restaurant full of loud people. I was busing tables and I saw my face in a mothers kiss to her child. I had to pinch myself or concentrate on the patterns in the rug in order not to cry. I went into the basement and started to write my thoughts down so that I would never forget them- as if that were even possible. This is how a lot of the songs on “Rocket” were written. After Elephant Era my biggest fear was forcing meaning and feeling into my songs. Luckily, I had so many things going for me for this fear to be crazy. The album like most things is about growth and inspired by love. Every second of it documents a period of the most awe-struck confusion. And excitement! Excitement that you couldn’t possibly realize was detachable from your baby brain. Excitement for no pin pointable reason whatsoever. Just to look at you looking at me; our whole lives ahead of us. And I know that sometimes this feeling is completely foreign to us. When anxiety takes us instead and we’re held captive with our hands on our head. Rocket was written in both of these polar times. For me, every mention of an anxiety or “lovelow” is a tool to bring me back to the excitement that seems endlessly far away. To confront it and battle it. It’s like I’m always trying to stay on top of the mountain. I guess that falling is normal. Especially when it’s for things that are insanely ambitious. I’m still unsure whether we should shoot for these things that are out of reach and may only leave us unfulfilled. Things such as keeping close to a soul or being a ‘good person.’ Looking back on this album, one of these things is the desire that you keep somewhere inside you and on occasion beams out of your eyes right onto me.